The curse of the bouquet?..dun dun dun!

Last Saturday I officially did my first wedding makeup job.
I did a couple test runs prior to the day, which helped bring down the stress level, and made things run smoother.
1 bride, 5 brides maids. 4 hours. Done.
This includes getting myself ready, and hair.

It went flawlessly, everyone looked great, except trying to get to the ceremony.
This is the day, there was the biggest protest downtown I've ever seen. We got detoured 5 times, and missed the first 15 minutes of it. I pretty much saw them say "I DO" kiss and leave.

Being the makeup artist, I spent the whole day with the wedding party, during photo shoots, and crazy stretch navigator shennigans. I had a great time, as my first experience, it helps when you know the bride and groom though. I know other weddings I work on, won't be as fun. This set the bar pretty high, but hate to admit it, wedding do something strange to a girl.You see someone up there in a amazing dress, with the love of her life, and I'm sitting next to my wingman (danny was my date) on my 9th drink of the night thinking I should just get a whole bunch of cats and sweatpants, because i'm gonna die alone.
I know this isn't true, but a horrific image flashes through my head.

This is the first wedding, Ive been to in a very long time. I guess I'm at that age now, where my friends will start getting married, spend time with their new families, disappear...but knowing MY close friends, this is not happening ANYTIME SOON. None of us want to grow up. Peter Pan syndrome. I think it's more of a french culture thing here. Most of the people I know engaged are quebecer, and they tend to get married early on, and divorced in a few years. Sorry, It's true.

So after many drinks, it got time to throw the bouquet.
I stood in that circle with the other 25 girls..including friends, and saying how I didn't want to be there. I'm a tall girl, and standing in 5 inch heels on top of it. I'm an amazon woman. I stood in the back to the right. Out of sight.
"I don't want this, I'm not ready!"
Not 20 seconds after saying this, it comes straight for me.
Natural instinct is to catch whatever is flying at your face. DAMNIT.
The dirty looks I got from the other girls, the boys at my table laughing at me.
Walking back to the table, people congratulated me.
An older woman and man told me the bride had caught the bouquet at her wedding 4 years ago."Thanks".. as my head hit the table, danny still pointing and laughing at me "YOU'RE NEXT!"

I have 4 years to get my life in order. 28 years old. Damn.
We'll see.

When someone asked whose the lucky guy. I responded with this quote.


I'll keep you updated on the lasso process.

Idle hands are the Devil's playthings...

Wow, February was quick, and one of the busiest months I've ever had.
I'll give you the quick rundown.
Started with my birthday party. Twas good even though there was no theme,that will be a few months, get ready kiddies!
Also didn't have a day off this month...ok I think ONE.

Danny mentioned the day after we got wasted from his family winning 3.5 MILLION dollars!! We went out and celebrated. Also the weekend of Valentines, so every bar was filled with sad, depressed, drunk guys, trying to grind on me. Best thing about having a guy wingman...You can pretend he is your boyfriend when the pervs won't leave you alone...the downside, all the hot guys, think he IS my boyfriend. Anyways was a great night, and we stayed up till 6 am, just laughing. Got up, had brunch, and tired to piece together our night.

There have been to many shows this month, that they all blend into each other again. Twenty hour days, will make someone snap really fast, however I always leave with nice parting gifts. I'm pulling in about 60-70 hour weeks, with Makeup, graphic design, and shows. I'm a Robot.

En tout cas, all said above is not the reason I decided to update, oh no there's more!
In between my crazy work hours, my sleepless nights (anxiety) and trying to have a bit of a social life, I've been fixing up the house. Yes I do it all ladies and gentelmen, I can even cook. Ooooo Aahhhh

I'm starting to enjoy my living space, being alone for the first time, HOWEVER not even two minutes how I mentioned this to Martha, I saw something black move across my kitchen floor, and ran into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut, and tired to put together the black blur I just saw. First I thought the exhaustion was just getting to me, but no.
You see I have a bit of a hole (an abyss, as I like to call it, seeing how I have no clue how deep it goes) in the corner of my bathroom. I never took care of it, due to the fact that i'm now a HUGE procrastinator, but I always knew NOTHING good could be in it.

NOW I KNOW.
I have to explain what I saw though.
-Black
-Low to the ground
-A LOT of legs
-A tail
-Moved very quickly...toooo quickly.

This could only mean one thing. COCK-A-MOUSE
Oh what's that you might ask? Well I'll tell you...no wait, better yet show you


BAM Figure 1
*Editors Note
I did not draw this. The cock a mouse is from How I met your mother
Half cockroach, Half Mouse

I quickly bought Mouse/Rat poison and went to work, not knowing what awaits me when I got home from a Farewell party.
You see the cock-a-mouse can not be killed.
So I'm stuck with this visitor until he decides it's warm enough to go outside.

After obsessing with this creature for a day , I realized it wasn't anything near a cockroach...more like a centipede *shivers*
That could only mean one thing... it was now a Mouse-a-pede
But, tess how could that be?
Oh I drew a quick two minute sketch at work, to what this might look like.



Hideous right? Yeah well it doesn't live in YOUR house.
I've become obsessed with getting rid of it, and just staring at the hole.
A bunch of my guys friends came over to play video games with me, and being men and fearless *rolls eyes* they would try to lure the creature out by stomping on the hole. Nothing, however now they are gone, angered it, I'm alone, and I believe the poison just made it stronger, and now has super powers.

Last night I got home at two am from working a show. I had slept three hours the night before, worked a 20 hour shift, and collapsed in bed. While trying to find something to watch online, I saw a figure scurry across the floor, in my room. A little black mouse. Fuck. I don't need this right now.
I'm not afraid, I just don't want it here, due to my lazyness, and throwing things on the floor, like sweaters, when I come home. Hey I live alone, I can do what I want.
I frightened it. Mouse ran under my bed, and is now plotting my demise.

Ok so it's a mouse, not a super powerd mouse/roach/centipede. So maybe my imagination runs wild at times, and maybe I'll make up elaborate scenarios, but hey I'm a creative person. UNLESS.....the mouseapede is sending a real mouse out to throw me off, and get me when my guard is down..you see it all makes perfect sense.

Anyways if you don't hear from me for a while, you now know my story.
By the way, I do realize I have lost my mind, and have snapped.
So it could explain everything, nothing a day off, video gaming, and brunch can't cure, right?
RIGHT?!