The curse of the bouquet?..dun dun dun!

Last Saturday I officially did my first wedding makeup job.
I did a couple test runs prior to the day, which helped bring down the stress level, and made things run smoother.
1 bride, 5 brides maids. 4 hours. Done.
This includes getting myself ready, and hair.

It went flawlessly, everyone looked great, except trying to get to the ceremony.
This is the day, there was the biggest protest downtown I've ever seen. We got detoured 5 times, and missed the first 15 minutes of it. I pretty much saw them say "I DO" kiss and leave.

Being the makeup artist, I spent the whole day with the wedding party, during photo shoots, and crazy stretch navigator shennigans. I had a great time, as my first experience, it helps when you know the bride and groom though. I know other weddings I work on, won't be as fun. This set the bar pretty high, but hate to admit it, wedding do something strange to a girl.You see someone up there in a amazing dress, with the love of her life, and I'm sitting next to my wingman (danny was my date) on my 9th drink of the night thinking I should just get a whole bunch of cats and sweatpants, because i'm gonna die alone.
I know this isn't true, but a horrific image flashes through my head.

This is the first wedding, Ive been to in a very long time. I guess I'm at that age now, where my friends will start getting married, spend time with their new families, disappear...but knowing MY close friends, this is not happening ANYTIME SOON. None of us want to grow up. Peter Pan syndrome. I think it's more of a french culture thing here. Most of the people I know engaged are quebecer, and they tend to get married early on, and divorced in a few years. Sorry, It's true.

So after many drinks, it got time to throw the bouquet.
I stood in that circle with the other 25 girls..including friends, and saying how I didn't want to be there. I'm a tall girl, and standing in 5 inch heels on top of it. I'm an amazon woman. I stood in the back to the right. Out of sight.
"I don't want this, I'm not ready!"
Not 20 seconds after saying this, it comes straight for me.
Natural instinct is to catch whatever is flying at your face. DAMNIT.
The dirty looks I got from the other girls, the boys at my table laughing at me.
Walking back to the table, people congratulated me.
An older woman and man told me the bride had caught the bouquet at her wedding 4 years ago."Thanks".. as my head hit the table, danny still pointing and laughing at me "YOU'RE NEXT!"

I have 4 years to get my life in order. 28 years old. Damn.
We'll see.

When someone asked whose the lucky guy. I responded with this quote.


I'll keep you updated on the lasso process.

Idle hands are the Devil's playthings...

Wow, February was quick, and one of the busiest months I've ever had.
I'll give you the quick rundown.
Started with my birthday party. Twas good even though there was no theme,that will be a few months, get ready kiddies!
Also didn't have a day off this month...ok I think ONE.

Danny mentioned the day after we got wasted from his family winning 3.5 MILLION dollars!! We went out and celebrated. Also the weekend of Valentines, so every bar was filled with sad, depressed, drunk guys, trying to grind on me. Best thing about having a guy wingman...You can pretend he is your boyfriend when the pervs won't leave you alone...the downside, all the hot guys, think he IS my boyfriend. Anyways was a great night, and we stayed up till 6 am, just laughing. Got up, had brunch, and tired to piece together our night.

There have been to many shows this month, that they all blend into each other again. Twenty hour days, will make someone snap really fast, however I always leave with nice parting gifts. I'm pulling in about 60-70 hour weeks, with Makeup, graphic design, and shows. I'm a Robot.

En tout cas, all said above is not the reason I decided to update, oh no there's more!
In between my crazy work hours, my sleepless nights (anxiety) and trying to have a bit of a social life, I've been fixing up the house. Yes I do it all ladies and gentelmen, I can even cook. Ooooo Aahhhh

I'm starting to enjoy my living space, being alone for the first time, HOWEVER not even two minutes how I mentioned this to Martha, I saw something black move across my kitchen floor, and ran into the bathroom. I slammed the door shut, and tired to put together the black blur I just saw. First I thought the exhaustion was just getting to me, but no.
You see I have a bit of a hole (an abyss, as I like to call it, seeing how I have no clue how deep it goes) in the corner of my bathroom. I never took care of it, due to the fact that i'm now a HUGE procrastinator, but I always knew NOTHING good could be in it.

NOW I KNOW.
I have to explain what I saw though.
-Black
-Low to the ground
-A LOT of legs
-A tail
-Moved very quickly...toooo quickly.

This could only mean one thing. COCK-A-MOUSE
Oh what's that you might ask? Well I'll tell you...no wait, better yet show you


BAM Figure 1
*Editors Note
I did not draw this. The cock a mouse is from How I met your mother
Half cockroach, Half Mouse

I quickly bought Mouse/Rat poison and went to work, not knowing what awaits me when I got home from a Farewell party.
You see the cock-a-mouse can not be killed.
So I'm stuck with this visitor until he decides it's warm enough to go outside.

After obsessing with this creature for a day , I realized it wasn't anything near a cockroach...more like a centipede *shivers*
That could only mean one thing... it was now a Mouse-a-pede
But, tess how could that be?
Oh I drew a quick two minute sketch at work, to what this might look like.



Hideous right? Yeah well it doesn't live in YOUR house.
I've become obsessed with getting rid of it, and just staring at the hole.
A bunch of my guys friends came over to play video games with me, and being men and fearless *rolls eyes* they would try to lure the creature out by stomping on the hole. Nothing, however now they are gone, angered it, I'm alone, and I believe the poison just made it stronger, and now has super powers.

Last night I got home at two am from working a show. I had slept three hours the night before, worked a 20 hour shift, and collapsed in bed. While trying to find something to watch online, I saw a figure scurry across the floor, in my room. A little black mouse. Fuck. I don't need this right now.
I'm not afraid, I just don't want it here, due to my lazyness, and throwing things on the floor, like sweaters, when I come home. Hey I live alone, I can do what I want.
I frightened it. Mouse ran under my bed, and is now plotting my demise.

Ok so it's a mouse, not a super powerd mouse/roach/centipede. So maybe my imagination runs wild at times, and maybe I'll make up elaborate scenarios, but hey I'm a creative person. UNLESS.....the mouseapede is sending a real mouse out to throw me off, and get me when my guard is down..you see it all makes perfect sense.

Anyways if you don't hear from me for a while, you now know my story.
By the way, I do realize I have lost my mind, and have snapped.
So it could explain everything, nothing a day off, video gaming, and brunch can't cure, right?
RIGHT?!

Dustin' off the ol' blog

Been a while. Not like I really have time for this, but sometimes I need to share stupid shit I find online, or just to have a place I can always find it. Use to just talk about makeup (which I will still do) however it will most likely be random from now on.
People have been asking me to update...you people actually read this? Shocked me a little. Not sure how long I will keep this up for.
4 jobs, friends, and a messy apartment keep me busy most of the time now.

My week was insane. Between lady gaga, Rob Zombie, Martha's birthday, and Nat's quitting. I hardly slept, or ate, but I did drink. Oh boy.
By the way Rob Zombie underneath that hard exterior is a very sweet and nice man, and lady gaga...well she just loves herself. A lot.

I'm not even sure if I can talk about backstage shenanigans due to some controversy which i can't talk about either. So many secrets GAH! I'll let it be for now, ask me in person if you're really curious.

Time.

Seems like I never have enough of it.
Looking back on older posts, I'm not happy with the contents..or perhaps just how I phrased certain things.
I would always rush what I was writing right before work.
It shouldn't have been like that, so hopefully in the future I will actually take the time, and write a proper blog post.
For now I'm way to tired from another big day of Zombie shooting to even move.

Zombies vs. Ninjas

If you know anything about me, then you know my love for zombies...or is that my hatred for zombies?
If we were listed in a relationship on facebook it would be filed under "complicated"
I think it all started about 7 years ago. I'm not quiet sure how, but thats when I started watching zombie movies, and became facinated with them. How can the "undead" roam amongst the living?
How could one misely little bite, infect a human being for it to "die", get so pissed off, then seek revenge against us? Why are they so fucking angry?
I guess if you were bit by a random stranger, infected, and cursed to walk around seeking brains for the rest of your days you would be rather upset with the living as they skip off into the sunset, taking for granted how much they have, more importantly their diets don't consist of flesh and brains.

There are too many questions to ask about zombies and their logic. Everyone has their own interpertation of them. I prefer slow moving zombies, the stupid brainless ones. I can outrun an amy of them anyday, but lets say a "28 weeks later" outbreak happened; We're all screwed. They are too sneaky, like a smart raptor, the ones that learn. (Quote from a show) Can zombies eventually die if they don't feast on our flesh, or do they walk the earth forever until BOOM headshot?!

I have introduced zombies into many people's lives. I would go to parties, and randomly talk about zombies for hours to clueless people. I IN FACT made them stronger human beings with my knowledge, it won't save them, however at least they can prepare themselves for the inevitable.
My friends always thought I would write a book, with my sarcastic humour, my drawing skills, and my thirst for zombie knowledge, why wouldn't it work out? They even gave me a date to have it finished by. In 2010 it should be complete. I have a lot of work to catch up on then.

So being a skilled makeup artist, I can create my own zombies. Easy? NO!
Since there are so many different kind of zombies out there, what are my favourite zombie makeup creations?
I'm not sure. I need to come up with my own idea and roll with it.
I was thrown into another project with Joseph Elfassi. He loved my first creations for him, so I was called back to shoot again.
Moving on up!
I was pysched, problem though...I've never done it before.
I went in, with ideas in mind and fuckin' rolled with the punches. The outcome? I outdid myself yet again!
I'm not trying to sound egotistical, but I impress myself sometimes. I'm a perfectionist, who is WAY to hard on herself. So when I'm happy with something, i'm ecsatic.
I didn't enjoy the other zombies as much, seemed way to fake. One makeup artist told him not to shoot to close in fear of seeing the makeup, what is the point of being a makeup artist if you can't make the audience believe this once human being is going to rip your head off, and eat your brains like a fat kid on a picnic. COMMON!
Thats not my style, I go as real as possible, and make people want to barf. That's what I signed up for, and that what my audience is getting. The real deal.

Face painting.

At first I wasn't a big fan of face painting.
The chinese opera, and others like it, just wasn't my style; however recently it became interesting.
Perhaps because I started to push myself to do it, or that we moved on to other things like children face painting.
I would love to volunteer my services to children's hospital around christmas time.
Something about face painting, and sparkles, make kids going apeshit.
I taught at an Elementry school a couple years back. I worked with a well known artist around Montreal, and did a huge collage with the children. I would teach them about colors, technic, and make sure they weren't eating glue.

Many people have been skipping class for lack of interest. So we are always uneven numbers.
After I have made coffee for the class (I have became coffee bitch, since I'm class president, it is my machine, and I'm probably drinking it the most) people have partnerd up, so I'll work on myself.
Blending cream colors are hard enough, imagine doing it backwards in a mirror? Yeah.

We use pancake and cream makeup.
Pancake seems to work better, it dries, and washes off really easy.
Cream colors tend to stay wet, can come off easy if the model moves...so to me they are useless, and you can't layer them.
Each color is pretty expensive.
I rather get into airbrushing them use either of these methods, but thats more for the body.

Tromp d'oeil is another way of face or body painting, that the artist paints on the face like a canvas. It is an illusion.
We tried andy warhol since its a great example. Others can get very intense the detailing and such. If you've never painted before, then It might not be as easy for one to accomplish.


My Face painting exam.
The magical mirror from Snow White.

Random mask, that I added leopard print to the side, so decided to finish it by adding it to my neck.

Another type of mask. Done on myself. Blended pancake colors, with sparkles.


Children face painting. Lizard creature!


Example of Tromp d'oeil

Drag Queen and Wigs

Drag queen day was probably the second best day in school.
Reason why? I got to turn Danny into a girl.
I was giddy the whole time. Danny knew what he was getting into before we started.
After layer upon layer of foundation (it hurts me to do this, I cringe inside with to much foundation)
The eyes were the best part, I didn't have any fake lashes, really didn't think about it, but it still came out great.
Took about 2 hours to do because we were laughing and talking the whole time.
I made him turn to the mirror everytime I did something new, he would look and shake his head, with a "GAHHH" noise.
It brought us so much closer as friends. A whole new homies-for-life friendship level.
He is so pretty as a girl, he even admitted it.

Drag queen is all about bright colors, shading and highlighting, and sparkles!
I would like to try it again soon.
We celebrated that night at Mado a drag queen bar in the gay village. (the day I got my diploma)
My first time there. Since it was a Tuesday night, it was Mardi Gras.
Show started late as always, around 11:30pm, but the hour we waited we did shots, and weird fruity drinks.
Show was about an hour, and the whole thing was insane, if you don't speak alot of french, or know montreal culture, you won't enjoy it to its fullest.

I putting wigs in this blog, because it goes together.
We have a bunch of wigs in class to wear with some of the makeup, but most are really nasty, for the price we pay for school we should get some new ones. Anyways the other day I tried them all on, with some funky makeup, and dance to the radio in class.
I love those days. I only have a month left of school. As much as I stress out, complain about getting up early, etc.
I'm going to miss every minute of it, especially my friends.


DanDan and I. Tiger Style.


My Cougar mom look. This is so my future.


Blonde. Something I will never do.


Coyote Ugly.