Life.

I feel I need to write this, and dunno where else to do it.
This is a blog about my life, and at this point in it, something has come up.
I don't want to go in to grand detail about it, personal, but I feel I just to write something, anything.

Life has a funny way of working out.
I wrote the other day, how I was happy for the first time in awhile.
Yes for the past months i've had great moments, but to wake up in the morning with purpose and not be sad about anything, seemed great.

Yet in my gut I knew something was going on.
Then i realized always go with your gut.
My emontions and feelings are running wild. I don't even know how I feel at the moment.
There is sadness, no anger.
First time I've cried in a while, honestly.

How come you can't be happy in all aspects in life?
Work is good, but then your love life is shot?
or vice versa. Seems like it has to balance out...and I'm always getting an epic fail.
I feel like I don't have balance, or maybe thats my own mistakes. I thought everything was under control.

Funny how you live with someone, share a life with them.
It doesn't work out for some reason, and sometimes go months without ever saying hello.
This person knows everything about you, every little secret or detail, that only a few others know.
Yet we can't even say hello...I guess it's all in time.
It breaks my heart a little to live like that.
I'm still unsure how I feel, even after writing this, but I feel better just knowing I tried to work it out.

To my friends, family, past loves.
You're always with me. Every moment has been kept in my mind. I truely think everything happends for a reason, and you were all supposed to be in my life to help guild me through it.
You'll never know how much I care about you all, or can every thank you enough for being there for me.
Sometimes I think I love too much, I hope you guys can see it.
I never want to go through life without love, it can be the best feeling in the world, but also at sometimes the worst.
No one deserves to get hurt in that way, and everyone should feel love.
One day I'll find it again, with someone I care about.
With no distractions, I'm going to treat them right.

For now I'll just watch videos of Jorma dancing, and smile to myself, and know good things are still out in this world, I just have to find them, or let them find me.

<3
Tess Von Vixen